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What a way to go
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 Misc
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247
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What a way to go
Two blokes meet up in a pub.
The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike's dead??!!!"
"Eh?, what on earth happened to him?"
"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - his car hit the kerb, flipped upside down and he fell out through the sunroof - went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."
"What a horrible way to die!"
"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. He landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just about dragged himself up when BANG, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."
"What a way to go, that's terrible!"
"No no, that didn't kill him either. He survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off himself and then crawled out onto the landing. He tried to pull himself up on the bannister but under his weight, the banister broke and he goes falling through and down on to the ground floor. In mid-air, all the broken banister poles spin around and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."
"Now that is a really unlucky way to go!"
"No no, that still didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's in the downstairs lobby, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but didn't realize he was reaching for the handle of a big pot of boiling hot water. Whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him."
"Man, what a way to go!"
"No no, he survived that, he survived that! Now he's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot right through him."
"What an awful way to go!"
"No no, he survived that too..., in fact ....."
"Hold on, hold on now, just how did he actually die then?"
"I shot him!"
"What? You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?"
"He was wrecking my house."
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