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Premiership Class of 2006
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Premiership Class of 2006
To any of you with girlfriends prone to making inquisitive (yet amusing) comments regarding top-flight football clubs, perhaps the easiest way to explain to our fairer halves would be to put it in terms they'll understand.
So, all you have to do is get her to pretend the Premiership is a class of 20 pupils, you are the form tutor of said class and your missus is a supply teacher filling in for you for the week. Then, hand her the following character assessment report for each 'pupil'.
Man Utd: Head boy, most popular, lots of hangers-on.
Chelsea: Scheming, influential rich kid, buys friends.
Arsenal: Very talented but very whiney. *Recommend eye test with school nurse.
Portsmouth: Mouthy, comedian, always alert when bell rings.
Liverpool: Once head boy but now underachiever, tends to loiter round school trophy cabinet.
Reading: New whizzkid - has settled in nicely
Everton: Popular little scallywag, excels in history.
Villa: Recent personal problems but is now in good hands.
Bolton: Playground bully; kicks, spits, lunges. Problem with authority.
Tottenham: Wannabe, craves popularity, allergic to school dinners (lasagne etc.)
Wigan: Shy type, hasn't many friends.
Man City: Mood swings effects results; constantly blue, dangerous when seeing red.
Fulham: Well mannered, likable fop.
Blackburn: Feisty, unpredictable, watch this one.
Newcastle: The noisiest in class, bad results of late.
Boro: Easily distracted, promises much, delivers little.
Sheff Utd: Moans too often but can do better when concentrates.
West Ham: The wheeler/dealer, prone to producing and selling goods.
Watford: Tries his best but likely to re-sit another year below.
Charlton: Gets picked on relentlessly, must try harder.
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