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Snakes in a Arse BulletWomen 270
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Snakes in a Arse

At 3am Forensic scientists accompanied police officers to a murder scene last week in Solihull, Birmingham. To their horror they found a young woman in her mid twenties with severe anal bleeding and the whole kitchen was infested with baby corn snakes.

After much examination of the snakes and the young woman's body and interviews from the neighbours they found sufficient evidence of the events which took place. The report had the following details:

Mrs Langley had been breeding snakes for around 4 years. Unknown to the neighbours she also did her own type of breeding with these beloved snakes of hers. After tissue and fluid samples were taken from the snakes and Mrs Langley, they found traces of Mrs Langleys' vaginal fluid and blood on the snakes.

Mrs langley had come home from an Anne Summers party with a few of the local house wives. She proceeded to partake in one of her favourite past-time of inserting one of her corn snakes (tail end first) into her anal passage, she then squeeze the neck of the snake (near the end of the head) and flicked it's nose to make it wriggle around in her passage for her personal pleasure (apparently this was done in Roman times). Unbeknown to Mrs Langley, the corn snake she inserted was pregnant and ready to drop her eggs, which it did - into her anal passage. The snakes tail was so far up her passage that when the eggs were dispersed, they actually got stuck up the far end of her passage.

This was close enough inside the body to incubate the eggs and hence the eggs hatched; because the eggs were kept so closely together when they hatched, the eggs were entangled producing a large ball of wriggling snakes, and because the snakes were hungry and tangled they thrashed out with their fangs (which were only small but still sharp enough to tear human flesh), tearing the inside of her rectum all the way down and causing massive internal bleeding.

She quickly ran to the toilet and the large ball of entangled snakes were forced out causing a huge cardiac arrest and killing her almost instantly.
The corn snakes that were found were approx. 5 inches long and there was a grand total of 120 of them which produced a ball about the size and shape of a rugby ball there were also several which hatched after she had died and the scientists found a few eggs still left up there 4 hours later.

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